The Olive Branch

Because I do so much work with couples in distress, it’s inevitable I’ll work with couples in the midst of a divorce. So, I’m often there from the announcement through the final paperwork, which gives me great insight into the entire process from start to finish.

I love seeing interviews with long-time married couples. They’re always so honest. For example, you won’t much hear about a 60 year-marriage that was total bliss or total despair. Instead, you’ll often hear stories about ups-and-d0wns, ebbs-and-flows, and peaks-and-valleys.

When I was taking my Divorce Mediation coursework, I had a hard time relating to the lessons about pets and divorce. You see, at the time, I wasn’t a pet owner, and I had difficulty understanding how someone can become so wrought with anxiety over the fate of a family pet.

When I first started my research for this post, my original thought was: Pets must reduce conflict because they reduce anxiety (in general). In fact, in our home, our new Chihuahau, “Nacho,” has significantly reduced conflict between my children, since they now have a distraction from their favorite pasttime (arguing with one another).

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my new “multi-generational” tennis class and the fantastic people I’ve met there. Well, one of those just happens to be my age (which is kind of a shocker), and, recently, she’s been dealing with ending her marriage.

One of the most common forms of conflict I experience in my work as a couples therapist has to do with the notion of “turning in – or turning away” from one’s partner. And, it’s also the most common predictor (in my opinion, anyway) of whether a couple will stay together or disconnect.

At the end of March, I wrote a post about what to DO when your adult children get divorced. So, I’m here to follow-up with what NOT to do. Here’s the list, courtesy of Leslie Mann from the Chicago Tribune: Dont’t: Be surprised if your child regresses to the moody, angry teen you thought you’d […]

When it comes to divorce, not a lot of attention gets paid to the parents of the child getting divorced. But, it can be difficult to watch your child experience the pain of divorce and equally as difficult to say good-bye to your daughter-in-law or son-in-law (in most cases, anyway!)

You hear the stories all the time–the ones about high-conflict divorce and the toll it can take on the children, the divorcing individuals, and even the friends and families involved. High-conflict divorce is never good for anyone, and yet, thousands of divorcing couples somehow find themselves in this kind of conflictual relationship.

I have a dear friend who got a divorce about a year and a half ago, and by all accounts, it was one of the most amicable divorces on file. As part of keeping it amicable, they decided to “figure it out” when it came to visitation and custody. After all, they were still friends, […]